2. Biopsy

I did not enjoy this, it was not fun, I don't want to do this again.

The first thing to say about the biopsy was how very sweet both the doctor and nurse were during the whole procedure. The doctor ( Andrew or Anthony Thomas, I can't quite remember ) was quite chatty, constantly reassuring and persistently apologetic for the obvious discomfort I was in. The nurse was very sweet and very tender towards me, also a little cheeky and playful. She asked me if I would like to have small or large wound dressings - "the large ones get you more sympathy".

They performed two types of biopsies, both conducted under local anaesthetic and with the aid of Ultrasound imaging, and on both sides of my neck.

The Doc had a good old look in my neck first with the scanner,  then 2 or 3 jabs with the anaesthetic needle, which 'does' feel like being stuck in the neck with a sharp needle a few times. Then in for the F.N.B. ( Fine Needle Biopsy ). I don't think 'fine' refers to the 'actual' size of the needle. I'm sure it is a comparison i.e. a needle that is say 'finer' than plumbing pipe.

As a sample of cells are required it is necessary to 'swish' the needle about in the neck. You can feel it happening. I didn't like that at all. I was quite squirmy and from time to time I whispered out a little "meep" noise, all the time critically aware that there was a needle in my neck, right next to my carotid artery.

He performed this procedure twice, continuously saying "sorry, sorry" and with the nurse stroking and patting my arm to 'soothe' me, bless her, and him.

Next, the Core Biopsy. This sucked, really-really sucked.  A Core Biopsy needle is bigger than a F.N.B. needle, and is inserted through a small incision. It is plunged into the tissue and with a loud 'Click!' a "core" of meat is snipped off with it's small blade. The difficulty comes from that fact that glands have tough outer layers, almost completely impervious to needles, particularly biopsy needles. Imagine chasing the last oily olive around the plate armed with only a blunt cocktail stick on which to impale it... same thing.

Both types of biopsy are performed with the aid of the scanner to pinpoint exactly where to sample, and to avoid sensitive areas like the arteries. The trick seems to be to trap the gland using both the US wand and the fingers, and pin it against the wind pipe and then 'jab' the needle into the gland ( at one point I thought he was going to get his foot up there on my throat to pin the bugger down, like Ahab harpooning a miniature whale ). He was so pleased to finally get the needle in "got you you slippery little bugger" I thought he might just stab it a few more times for good luck. There is a loud "click" and its all over.

Well not quite all over... Same thing again in the other side of the neck, and this time with 'two' core biopsies.

I chose the biggest wound dressings they had in stock.

Jo was quite intrigued by the colour of my skin when she came to scoop me up off the gurney in the scanning room. She supported my wobbly progress to the hospital coffee lounge to top up my obviously depleted blood sugar levels and was fascinated to witness my colour change from it's greeny, ashen hue back to a more familiar "shaved panda" pink.

So far, so good.


After all, Pleomorphic Adenoma are 'almost always' benign.


Edited by Jo W, with thanks